Comrade Monson!!

Here's the new face of Cuban cigars and what a face. Revealing his backing of Communist Cuba and fine cigars Fred re-enacts that classic Che look and I'm sure it won't be long before the t-shirt and poster sales go through the roof. A new icon for a new era. Castro is rumored to have asked for him personally and received a rare one-to-one the ever elusive Mr. M. Whilst many reporters descended upon the island as soon as news broke of a possible Fred presence none found any evidence of his visit. It is believed that he evaded detection by disguising himself as the bearded lady in a traveling circus and is now in mainland South America fighting alongside a guerrilla unit in the Dominican Republic. Vivre, Senior Monson!  

Fred Spotted On Sliced White

Today floods of True Believers from around the globe will journey from far and wide to witness first hand a modern day miracle. A young man from Coventry was making his morning toast when he was shocked to see a face peering back at him. Despite his strong desire to eat toast he held off and showed it to a friend who instantly recognised the visage. Word travelled fast and before long a mass pilgrimage was begun. It is believed that the consumption of a single crumb of the toast will fill the recipients head with infinite accounting knowledge and cure leprosy. None of the claims have been proved thus far. So get on your boots and start trekking. Finally there is a reason to go to Coventry.

   

Meal Fit For A King

Come Over Here Boy, Have A Cigar.

He knows. He knows I'm looking for him. Last night I heard that distinctive tune and in the morning I awoke, assuming it was all a dream, only to find this on my bedside table.

What does it mean? Is he warning me off or gaoding me on? Toying with me perhaps as if to say I can get you anytime I want but you'll never find me. He is an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, inserted up the arse of uncertainty and pulled into the trousers of implausability. BUM-BUM-BUM.

A Shadow of His Former Self

Last night the cleaners reported seeing the shadow of a man waving from inside of Fred's room. The apparition appeared for a full ten minutes but by the time the door had been broken down the vestige had vanished.

Was this Fred's final goodbye? Did he just drop by to check things were going swimmingly? I'd like to think he's watching over us from somewhere. Not in that he's dead, more like he is transcendental. A bit like God or David Blaine.  

Is he in Oz?

Speculation, it's all we have to go on? A rumor. He's in Australia. A rumor yes but plausible also. Where better for Fred to set up shop for his secret plans. I can see him in the wilds, shooting kangaroos, learning from the Aborigines but this is all hearsay. Some even speculate that he is here in the photo of Aborigine protestors marching through the streets of Canberra.

He is even rumored to have written articles for 'The New Black Magazine' voicing his dissent for the cruel treatment of the Aborigine population over the previous century. He is of course using a pseudonym and could be sending the articles from anywhere. The magazine refuse to reveal the articles' source. So another possible lead runs dry but perhaps it reveals a little more about our man.

Where in the World is Fred Monson?

Fred Monson. Numbers. The man with a bom-bom-bom for all occasions. Up and gone, like smoke, like some distant tune that you can't quite tell if you can hear it in the distance, round the next corner, or if it's just that you expect to. Bom-bom-bom where's he gone? Not much to go on. Just the facts. This is what he left us:

What does this tell us? He was a man like any other? Perhaps. That we miss him? Yes. That he was ready for the impending apocalypse? Most definitely. So where is he? In a bunker preparing for the final stages of some master plan? If you know anything, get in contact.